Part II
Mom always has to complain about something.
Whether it’s my dirty room, or if it’s something even more abstract… That’s how
she shows that she cares. And it took me a very long time to understand how to
function with the way she speaks. Many people think that I’m rude to my
parents.
I won’t deny it. I
treat them pretty roughly but we’re not close and when we are together… Well,
my mother is going deaf. She can’t hear me when I say something, so she’ll make
me repeat it, around the third or fourth time, I’m shouting and then she gets
upset because she can tell I’m yelling. But she heard me.
It has always been a
constant battle with my mother. And it took someone else to figure out why my
mother and I have never been able to sync. I knew that mom and I had a culture
barrier. But I didn’t know how to fix it and I didn’t know how to approach it.
Until Volour laid it out for me. I was so annoyed. It took him a moment to see the
culture effect on me and how it reflects on the ways my mother acts.
Anyway, so the first
position of taking care of Inang was designated to my Uncle Krilo. My mother is
the financially ‘responsible’ one, and lastly, my Uncle Toto is the one who is
considered the highest authority. This position as ‘highest authority’ cannot
be given to a female. My family in San Emilio is very old fashion so men are ‘the
most responsible’. When the truth is, you cannot be given the ability to be
responsible. That is something that is learned. My Uncle Toto has pouted in
front of me. I don’t think he’s done that in front of many people. I found it
amusing.
This grown man,
about to becoming one of the financial responsible people in the family was
pouting. I asked my uncle what I needed to do. And he sat there! He was fed up
with what had not happened yet. He was stressed. It got to the point where I
told him, “Alright. I’ll be right back.” And I proceeded to do what I needed to
do without him.
That act, usually is
considered very rude in my family. I
did not allow him to choice what I was going to do next. Instead, I saw how he
was acting and acted on my own. I got the files I needed and returned to my uncle.
He was surprised. Oh, she… got things done. Yes! Yes I did.
My Uncle Toto and I
have not be able to sync much. He reminds me of my mother. And he’s strict. I
can handle him being strict. But. I can’t handle his unpredictable way of
acting. He has a habit of inserting himself into people’s schedule and expect
them to make him the first priority and I can’t do that all the time. I try to
adjust to him but sometimes the fact is, people can’t stop what they are doing
in the middle of doing whatever it is. Some can, but it depends on what they
are schedule to do at that time.
This next generation
of responsibility is falling into my hands. At first, I did not think that I
was considered one of the people in power but the truth, I’m my mother in this
case. I’m the next person in the generation to take over that spot as of right
now. I get the money from my mother and disperse it where she wants it to go.
The next person who should be in this position is my eldest sister. However, I
am the one who is physically in the Philippines which is why the responsibility
falls into my hands.
My cousin Malikai is
the next person chosen to be in authority. However, he has never had to finance himself. He has never had a job. And he
doesn’t know how to prioritize. I’ve asked him to get something done for me
because I have to depend on him. However, he has not followed through. And at
this point, I’m going to assume it will not get done.
When I first got
here I didn’t like my cousin. He is
closer to my mother than I will ever be. He might as well be her son. I don’t
feel that connection with my mother. I felt jealous. But I don’t feel that way
anymore. The whole point of these positions in the family is to get as many
people over to the U.S or get them overseas so that they can give back.
Another thing I
should mention is that if a person is gay or lesbian (mainly gay so for the
guys)… They are not allowed to have one of these positions. The most
responsible cousin I have is gay. And he has a degree, he knows what it’s like
to work, he makes his own money… He is the one I consider to try and get to
America because he has earned it.
The next person who
is supposed to get to the U.S after my Uncle Toto is my cousin Malikai.
However… I’m going to let my mother deal with that because I see how my family
acts here and I don’t like it. I like that we all eat together. I like that I
have a family. But what I don’t like is to most of my family members, I’m not a
person. I’m a coin purse.
This is something
that I’m not supposed to do but if my mother says that I need to give to a
person, I don’t always. I don’t always because I know their habits. I know what
will happen to that money. It’s like magic. To these people, they don’t know
how to invest in their future with their money. They don’t know how to save….
These people are not financially literate.
If it was up to me,
I would teach them how to be financially literate. I didn’t learn how to be financially literate from my mom. I learned my eldest sister. She was the one who taught me
how to finance. It’s simple really. When you get your money, you put the bills
first, and you make a goal for a backup. That way, after you’ve hit your backup
plan amount, and you’re able to pay your bills, the rest can be invested in
something else. But not everyone gets that.
I try to keep each
post to a one thousand word average so this is part two or three. If you did
not read part one the link is here (link). Thank you all for tuning it. You’ll
hear from me soon.
DJ/Cho/Nar
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