Forward Flight

The below is taken from the poetry book so if you read this, you may skip the introduction in the poetry book and read to your hearts content!

Sensual Distortion

There's a vision with my eyes and with my touch.

But I smell home, I can taste it, I can hear it all the same.

I walk in the city I am in but feel disorientated.

How can I be in two places at once?

My soul is home, and wandering,

My physical vessel stands here,

Eight thousand miles apart.

And somehow, my senses say that I am here but I am also there.

My friends and family back home,

They miss me ever so dear.

And here, I have made friends...

Who will miss me as soon as I disappear.

In death, people live within the hearts of others.

During life, each person makes their mark on each other.

Can that part of their soul, the memories that they make...

Is it possible to have a bond so strong that what each sense is sensed by others?

I can smell it, the air back home.

The taste of the food-

A warmth in the air-

I can sense it.

I can hear it.

I am there.

But with my eyes, I know my place.

Across the sea, thousands of miles away.

Reality of the absence of my hometown is concrete with my touch.

It presents a visual effect that I must accept.

However, that does not mean I am not there.

For it is true, my soul has lingered home while I have banished my vessel here. -

September 21, 2019

Thanks for reading everyone, let me know your thoughts in the comment section below!

DJ/Cho/Nar

Schedule:

Sunday Watts - 12PM

Monday - Weekly Entry 12PM

This will send me an email with your questions you don’t have to leave a name. I will post the answer to the blog!

This is mainly for communication so go ahead, add me. Message me every once in a while so that I remember who you are. Otherwise, I'll delete you at the end of the year when I clear through my Facebook lol.

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Key tags: Wattpad, Instagram, Facebook, Blog, Personal Blog, Social Media, Poetry, Poem, Poetry Book, Sunday Watts

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

May 21, 2019

School is almost out for the month and I can’t help but wonder what I should do with my spare time. There are many topics that I want to cover that I think about but I don’t actually write down. It’s as if I mentally write about it then I realize that I haven’t actually written it down.

My friends have talked to me at different times and I keep meaning to write about them on this blog. I lost a flash drive so I lost some of the entries that I wrote. Hopefully, with all this time that I have, I can keep write up more entries for you all.

The neat concept of a travel blog is that even when I go home, I can still write about my hometown! Yes, to people of my hometown, that can sound boring but to people in the Philippines, writing about what I do at home is a new experience to them. Lately, I’ve been living my life and not writing about it. I tend to forget or I’m too tired to ‘not’ write in poetry form.

I want to thank those four consist readers who read over my poems despite me not writing actual entries! You all deserve a gold star in my book! Although, I do not hear from any of you, all of you exist to me and your presence is know which is all that matters! Thank you for your loyalty as readers.

Last week I wrote about Mother’s Day and how family cultures are different depending on where a person is raised or not raised. Today, I want to bring back up the meeting with the Tuan Thailand band and introduce to y’all people that I met two weeks ago on Friday May 10^th!

Last month I got to experience a concert of a Thailand band called Tuan Thailand. I got to be part of the concert but more importantly, I got to meet to interview the bass player of the Tuan Thailand band. Through this interview, my world suddenly shook. Even though Win, the bass player of Tuan Thailand, had been never met me until that moment, he didn’t judge me for not fitting his description of a Filipino.

To him, I was a Filipino but something about me was different. He couldn’t quite place why I sounded different and slightly acted different from the Filipinos he had experienced up to that point but he didn’t think of me as ‘not a Filipino’ which is bias thought of most Filipinos when they find out that I cannot speak Filipino or Tagalog. It was that moment, when Win looked at me and conveyed that I was different not incorrect that my world turned upside down.

It did not occur to me that I wanted to fit into the society around me. I hadn’t realized how out of place I felt until he made me feel in place. Thanks to Win, I took a step back and saw that it wasn’t that I wasn’t accepted into society as a Filipino… I was asking the wrong people to accept me into society as a Filipino.

Well, I hadn’t exactly asked ‘God’ or anyone for help but I had to sit through a guidance counsel session after a two weeks because it was required of each class to visit the guidance counsel. The guidance counsel then tried to figure out if we needed help in a specific area or they would try to get us to understand the few others in our counsel session. Luckily, I got my best friend and two other girls that I didn’t feel ‘close’ to but they weren’t my enemies.

After the guidance council meeting my world was still in pieces. I knew that there were people in the society who accepted me for who I am but I was still shaken that it took one interaction with a stranger for me to see that my standards for myself were not aligned with my values. These people I wanted to be accepted by would never truly accept me no matter what I did so I needed to refocus on who was important to me and whose opinions actually mattered.

On May 10^th, I met a group of people at KFC. I saw two dark skinned people and a white guy. I was standing in line behind them and listened to the white person’s accident. He wasn’t from America or from Europe, so what did that leave? At the time, I couldn’t quite place it. The two black people that were with him also didn’t seem like Nigerians. Their hair was different and their style of clothing looked familiar. Finally, I built the courage to present myself.

I said ‘excuse me’ then proceed to ask where the white guy was from. Australia, he declared. Of course! I thought, mentally face palming myself. How could I not remember that? The Australian was glad that I had picked up on his accent and that I didn’t assume he was American. It was ironic because I am America. He said that most people assume that he’s American and can’t understand that he’s not. I knew how that felt.

“It’s just that…” I smirked. “I’m also not from here. I’m actually from Texas!” And at that moment, the black guy standing next to him got excited, “Right on!” He said and held his hand up for a high five. I set my hand on his to complete the gesture but wasn’t entirely sure why he got excited. “We’re from Texas.” He said with a hint of southern twang.

That made my heart light up. No wonder they didn’t seem in place to me. While waiting in line, we talked and began to know each other. I found out that the group had met because they were all Jehovah’s Witnesses. It was dangerous territory to express my opinion on religion so I did what I could to explain myself in the most neutral way. I am neutral to religion and I’m willing to listen to each one but that doesn’t mean that I will declare myself as someone who is only under one ‘religion’. In truth, I take the lesson I learn from each and apply it to my life and they didn’t judge me for that.

On Sunday, I returned to Vigan (I had gone to Labayug to deliver something to my auntie) and asked them if they were free. I was happy to find out that they were available and I got to meet an addition to their family. There was a father, son, and the mother of the son. Since then, I’ve been able to get along with them very well and I talk to them about my experience here in Vigan and how it’s different from the states.

This family is very good at listening and they all have interesting stories themselves. I’m glad we can sit at the table and talk as friends without having to bring religion into the picture 24/7. It’s an American quality that I miss. Through this family I was able to find people who could understand me in a Filipino sense (the mom is Filipino and is also dark skinned so she knows what it’s like to be treated less than what she is) and the father and son understand the foreign issues I go through. They know about the bias opinions and prejudice because they experience it as well.

Even though I’m not religious, I have to say that these past two months have paved quite a path for me. I strongly believe that what is meant to happen, will happen, and because of that I’m excited for this new friendship that I’ve made. I may not be their religion but I’m open to learning about it.

In truth, I’m interested in learning about psychology, philosophy and religions and I’m thinking about starting a journal over it. It’s an idea and I hope that I can follow through with it. But, for now I’ll stick with my poetry and this blog.

Thank you for tuning in this week! Tune in next week to read more!

DJ/Cho/Nar

P.S: My Teacher Apptitude Test Score was a 'High Pass'! Meaning, 90-100 score rating where 100 is perfect!

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Sunday, May 19, 2019

Sunday Watts: Change of Heart

A Barrier Meant To Be Broken

If you'd like to read more from this public poetry book you may!

Click the caption!

The below is taken from the poetry book so if you read this, you may skip the introduction in the poetry book and read to your hearts content!

Change of Heart

At first I was not sure about you.

You seemed friendly enough.

And even though we had a disagreement,

We were able to emerge from that.

I hope you don't think negative of me,

Because I don't think negative of you.

You are funny and even though we cannot always communicate.

We seem to work it through.

Later, we will go separate ways.

And I hope we can meet again.

I want to see how you grow as a person.

From now till then...

You harbor a lot of potential,

And I cannot wait to see,

Where that leads you-

How that teaches you.

This college is only the beginning you know.

I do not wish for an end to your journey.

Rather, I'm excited to see,

How beautiful you become,

And not because of me.

You, alone, have the strength,

And the will to proceed.

One day I hope to reunite with you,

By then I'll be closer to accomplishing my dream.

September 21, 2019

Thanks for reading everyone, let me know your thoughts in the comment section below!

DJ/Cho/Nar

Schedule:

Sunday Watts - 12PM

Monday - Weekly Entry 12PM

This will send me an email with your questions you don’t have to leave a name. I will post the answer to the blog!

I follow anyone who follows me! This is mainly pictures of where I go!

Key tags: Wattpad, Instagram, Facebook, Blog, Personal Blog, Social Media, Poetry, Poem, Poetry Book, Sunday Watts

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

May 14, 2019

Hello All!

Thank you stopping in to read about my week! To begin, I want to start with Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers around the world! Whether you have a child of a furbaby I wish you a happy mother’s day!

To begin, I’ll share a little about my mom. My mother’s hometown is Paltoc, San Emilio, Ilocos Sur. She can speak Itneg (Kankanaey), Ilocano, Filipino/Tagalog, and English. She had the ability to read Hebrew, Latin, and Greek.

My family on her side is very old school. They derive from the indigenous tribe Kankanaey. Based on my experience, my family on that side still keeps to the old traditions. These traditions consist of dances, ceremonies, and generally how the family functions.

For my mother’s family, there are three main roles: The head of the family, the financial responsible person of the whole family (as well as their own), and the person in charge of the family house. In Filipino culture in general, a family has the head of the family (the father or the eldest son) and the financial holder (the mother) who is also in charge of the house and maintaining it.

Generally speaking, men are supposed to go out and get a job while women stay in the house and take care of the house and children. It is their responsibility to teach the children manners and proper etiquette.

On my mother’s side of the family the head of the family has to be a male. As far as I know, the financial person is female, and the person in charge of the family house is male. From what I understand, the previous generation of people were my uncle (who is now in Canada. He was one of the few siblings to get an education), my mother (who is a certified preacher and was a early childhood teacher), and my other uncle (the youngest sibling who went to school to be a mechanic. He also knows how to fix almost anything.) The current head of the family is my cousin (because he is also a certified pastor and will be graduating in political science), I am next in line to be the financially responsible person, and my younger cousin (the eldest son of the uncle who is in charge of the family house) will take over the family house and taking care of Inang (our grandmother) when the time comes.

Now, I know some Filipinos will be reading this so I want to explain the ‘American’ way of how a family functions. To begin, American is a nationality not a race which is why the way a family function depends on cultural background (usually race) of a family. When I was growing up, the head of the family was my father. But, he didn’t usually have to use the position unless there was an argument in the family and even though then, he might do something about it. My father had faith in me and my sisters’ independence which was why he never usually stepped into our personal lives. My mom was in charge of finances and my aunt (my dad’s sister) was the owner of the house my family was living in.

During my high school years I spent more time with friends’ families than my own. Most of my friends were Mexican so I learned some Spanish from them. From what I observed in most races the men go out to work while the women stay at home. There’s more of ‘the boss of the family’ and ‘the caregiver’. Most cultures I’ve experienced don’t give the financial responsibility to the women. Rather, the women make the list of what to get and the men go get it.

In truth, when I think about it… Out of the first then friends who pop up in my head ten of them have both their birth parents. The six remaining friends their situation with their parents isn’t clear to me but the remaining four have separated parents. Four of those friends come from a multicultural background (Mexican + another culture) and (white + another culture). Three of them are pure Mexican ant the remaining are white.

To clear terms up, in the United States we call ‘white’ people ‘white’ regardless if their lineage traces back to England, Scotland, Ireland, etc. If your skin tone is white, we call you white. Now, there are Mexican who are light skinned but those people usually trace back their lineage to Spain and not the Aztecs.

Regardless of culture background, it is up to the person to decide if they want to continue traditions or not. Overall, in the states, we push that a person should do what’s right for them, not for the whole family.

Nine of the friends I thought of earlier have supportive parents (separated or not). Most Asian families that I know of end up in the same situation I grew up in where most customs are dropped and independence is the main focus of the parents. These parents usually are workaholics and spend more time at work than at home.

Generally speaking, there are theses biases/prejudice about family. Personally, I don’t see why a family has to function only one way. Old traditions die hard. I’m not saying that the older traditions should be forgotten. Instead, the older traditions and modern customs should find a middle ground. I strongly believe that different cultures can co-exist if they truly want to.

My childhood is long passed. I can’t access anything before age ten and my adolescence was harsh. Living in the Philippines has helped me understand my mother better. I also have to thank my boyfriend’s family. Their customs prepared me to adjust to the blood family I have on my mom’s side.

Despite our differences, I’ll always love my mother. I may not agree with certain habits and life choices but all I can do is not do what I agree with. My mother has never mentally left the Philippines (and what frustrates me is that it took my boyfriend pointing it out to me for me to realize it). People ask me if I’m bitter about it but I tell them that I’m not. During my adolescence I learned through my band director that you can’t change what has already happened. You can only change your attitude towards it and what you do with the information from that point on.

That being said, I love my mom. I can’t change who she is but I can make do with the time I have with her. In truth, my parents seem closer when I’m eight thousand miles away rather than living in the same city.

The only time I spend time with my family is on Sundays for Sunday lunch/dinner. Or, it’s a holiday and we all meet up for that. My family understand that we all have separate lives so long as a family member participates in one family gathering, then the family as a whole won’t be upset.

If you have any questions about culture feel free to comment, message me, or get a hold of me on any of my social media accounts. I’d be willing to answer any questions! Again, happy mother’s day to all mothers and thank you for tuning in this week!

-DJ/Nar/Cho

Sunday Watt's: Blinding Pride

(This week's Watt!)

This will send me an email with your questions you don’t have to leave a name. I will post the answer to the blog!

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Sunday, May 12, 2019

Sunday Watts: Blinding Pride

A Barrier Meant To Be Broken

If you'd like to read more from this public poetry book you may!

Click the caption!

The below is taken from the poetry book so if you read this, you may skip the introduction in the poetry book and read to your hearts content!

Blinding Pride

What is it that I've done to you?

Why won't you let me know?

Instead, all I see are your cold eyes.

And that attitude that glows.

If I did something wrong, why won't you say it?

I told you before, if you do not tell, I will not know.

Yet here we are, you look down at me.

Part of me does not want to care.

Another wants to know.

I want to know so I can fix it.

So tell me, let me know.

However, I know that you are prideful.

That's why you look down at me in the first place.

You think I want to be better than you,

The truth is, I'm not.

We are both human beings.

Everyone makes mistakes.

I do my best to be honest.

What is that I've done to you?

Speak, I will listen.

Is it because they come to me instead of you?

Fear of being judged, a fear understood.

When you think about it...

Maybe, your fear is telling you,

That if you judge others, they feel the same.

I've made it clear.

I do not judge.

If anything, I want to understand.

Which is why they come to me instead of you.

But that does not have to be the case.

You have leadership in your eyes.

The only problem is,

Your pride is twice as intense.

So put down your pride,

Talk to me.

What did I do?

Have someone stand with you,

That way I can figure out your message.

Our language barrier is thick.

And that does not mean, I want it thicker.

Talk to me,

Communicate.

I want be your friend.

Come now, I'm willing to listen.

All you have to do, is tell.

September 21, 2019

Thanks for reading everyone, let me know your thoughts in the comment section below!

DJ/Cho/Nar

Schedule:

Sunday Watts - 12PM

Monday - Weekly Entry 12PM

This will send me an email with your questions you don’t have to leave a name. I will post the answer to the blog!

I follow anyone who follows me! This is mainly pictures of where I go!

Key tags: Wattpad, Instagram, Facebook, Blog, Personal Blog, Social Media, Poetry, Poem, Poetry Book, Sunday Watts

Sunday, May 5, 2019

Sunday Watts: A Bitter Sweet Goodbye

A Barrier Meant To Be Broken

If you'd like to read more from this public poetry book you may!

Click the caption!

The below is taken from the poetry book so if you read this, you may skip the introduction in the poetry book and read to your hearts content!

A Bitter Sweet Goodbye

It's the insecurities that wake me.

They prevent me to be sound.

My heart jolts, an aching beat,

There are no tears to be found.

I told myself that this was for the best,

And yet, here I am, my heart betraying me.

It stings. A cold rush climbs through my veins,

My breath becomes a gasp,

And then there is fear.

To be forgotten,

A memory, even if it is bright,

I become a stepping stone below the blossoming environment.

Silence. How could it be so loud?

Doubt comes with the quietness.

Happiness... That's what I want.

But this was my choice.

And I said, "Spread your wings."

This doesn't mean it won't hurt.

When I see you fly,

A bittersweet goodbye.

And a rhythm in my heart,

That I know too well.

A song I've sung before.

It would be assumed that the pain would be less.

Instead, the pain is different.

And the intensity is the same if despite the past.

September 19, 2019

Want to read more poems about how I have handled my adjustment to the Philippines? Click the link under the cover to read more! As always, thank you for reading and I hope you tune in next week for another Sunday Watts! If not, I hope you stop by to read my Weekly Entry!

Your views are always appreciated

DJ/Nar/Cho

Schedule:

Sunday Watts - 12PM

Monday - Weekly Entry 12PM

This will send me an email with your questions you don’t have to leave a name. I will post the answer to the blog!