November 18th: Personal Update: On the Road to Recovery

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November 10th: Personal Update: On the Road to Recovery

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On the Road to Recovery Part 1

On the Road to Recovery Part 2

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Question of the Day #1

 

Answer

Games in the Philippines are mainly PC. I tried to get my classmates into D&D but I overthought it so we didn't get a chance to play. But most games are either gambling related or on the computer. 

Video games are seen in a negative manner. Games in general are only for children. 

It's sad really. People don't see that games can be used outside of the entertainment for children. There are tournaments for PC games. They play League/Mobile Legends. Outside of that game I haven't seen many.

They do play game apps on their phones but outside of those cases that's all that exists in the gaming world. 

(For most of the population that doesn't have fast internet or is lacking in technology) 

Now in Manila, it's different. Think of Manila as New York for the Philippines. The only experience that I I had in Manila where a few nights because I stayed with my cousin due to paperwork not being correct so I couldn't leave the country.

There was someone who had a PS3 (?) I may be wrong about the console but they had a gaming console. The fact that they had a gaming console and that was the only console that I saw in the whole year living there should give some perspective on the lack of technology since I want a lot of places lol.

So outside of gambling card games there are no card games.

September 29th 2020: On the Road to Recovery Part I

 Hello everyone, 

I know that I haven't been posting and I don't know if I'll continue to do this but I do believe it is time to update everyone on my whereabouts. I also think this would help me in get through the situation that I'm in. I may not do videos but I am thinking of doing a podcast sort of blog. I'm not sure yet.

Let's get down to it then. On September 8th, I got a concussion due to the lack of awareness of others. It was a simple mistake but one that cost me. Yes, the company may be paying for all the doctor's appointments but in reality I'm the one taking all of the heat from it.

Now that it's been some time, I can laugh about it but at the same time... It's so frustrating to think about it. Something so simple... took me out. I am currently speaking to the phone and having it type for me because I'm having issues typing at the same speed as I would normally on September 7th.

So what happened? Well, I was taking down a soda bib from the shelf that was above my head. I'm only 4' 10 1/2". The bib was on the part of the shelf that was 5 ft tall on the biv itself was a 5 gal bib. On top of that babe, was a hammer. Now, when you look at the video, because they made me watch it, you see the hammer. And oddly enough most of my coworkers aren't over 5'5". So, they hadn't seen it as they walked by it. In the video, you see me reach for the box and as I'm sliding it down the hammer comes down on my head on the left side and falls to the floor. After you see it hit the floor, you see me lean into the box and stand there for a second.

What the video doesn't show you, is how I felt. When the hammer came down on my head, I was thankful that it was the flat side. At first, I was like... I'll shake it off I'll be okay. So you see me take the bib to my boss. Then you see me go to the register. Thirty minutes later, I'm making stupid mistakes on this register. And suddenly, the right side of my head throbs. I tell my coworker, that I'm not okay. That I'll go fill out the incident report. She says okay I got it up here.

What I wasn't expecting, was when I started to fill out the incident report that I would have so much trouble. by the middle of it I had to ask my boss to fill out the rest. Due to the fact that I kept messing up. I told her that I needed to go to the doctor and she said okay go ahead. But I insisted that hey, I can do another task before then. She kept telling me that she would do it and I told her why can't I? I'm leaving anyway. And so she finally agreed and said okay. As I was leaving she was like... Are you sure you can drive yourself? And I told her, "Yeah." 

Now, the company told me I had to go to a certain clinic due to me using their workers' compensation. Or workers' comp for short. I ended up calling a friend when I got to the bank to deposit the money. Then, I went to the hospital with them on the phone. I texted my family that something had happened and all of them were upset that I was driving. They said it was dangerous. I told them that I was fine but because I told them what happened they they were freaking out. And honestly I'm glad they did. All I wanted to do was take a nap.

I'm really thankful to the friend that answered my call. I know that other friends of mine would have done it. But I also know that everyone has their own lives to attend to. So I'm glad that they took the time to listen to me when I needed them. (Thank you, Lucas). 

So I get to the clinic. And, I hang up the phone with my friend. I go in, and find out that I've gone to the wrong location. At this point, I'm more tired and it's harder for me to focus. The longer I have to drive the hard drives is to understand what's going on with myself. All I know, is that I have a headache and that my focus is lacking. getting back into the car, I call my friend again and tell him that I went to the wrong one lol. He stays on the phone with me once more and I get to the correct clinic. I walk in and explain the situation. I tell this receptionist that I'll go to the bathroom real quick. She asked if I'm all right. And I tell her that I am.

After I go to the bathroom, I think about what she said. I wonder, why didn't they she think I only needed to go to the restroom? Why is my family freaking out as much as they are? Why does my head hurt this badly? 

Finally, it's my turn to be seen and this male doctor comes in and asked me what happened. He runs a couple of tests, tells me I have a concussion. Then tells me that I need to get a CT scan over at a different building. He also asked me if I'm going to drive myself. I told him that it was difficult driving over here so I asked my family to come get me. I don't fully remember all the details. Currently, my short-term memory is the worst but my long-term memory seems to be improving.

Thankfully, the CT scan came out negative. However, due to the fact that it came out negative, the doctors took my condition lately. They said, "Here are some restrictions you'll be fine." 

After I tell my family what happened, my family jumps in and tells me to not go in tomorrow. They tell me that due to my condition, I need to rest, I need to take it easy, and I need to be with someone with all times. 

It's hard to talk about. I don't like sharing what happened in the past. But it is a huge factor in the fact of why I haven't recovered as quickly as someone would. A normal person, would heal faster than I am. However, I had a surgery done on my head when I was little. If you want to know more about that, you can message me personally and I will tell you. As of right now though, I don't feel comfortable telling everyone. I have posted it in the depths of my Wattpad so if you do want to look for it or if you want a link to it, I can send you to it. Message me for it.

I didn't think this would be so difficult. Letting the phone tell everyone how I feel. However, it seems that all this weight is there. And it's also hard to look at my phone and watch the words come up because apparently, reading is difficult.

There are so many regular actions that I would normally do that are hindered due to this concussion. And due to the lack of urgency, and the type of doctors that I had, I am still suffering from this concussion. No, I don't want to blame them for what's happened to me. However, due to the lack of urgency it seems that I've had to push myself farther than I've I was capable.

Since the doctors saw my CT scan and saw that it was fine, I was fine. I told them that I didn't feel fine and their response was to take it easy. Now, if you've met me and maybe you can see it through my post or through my videos, You know that I'm not a person to sit down "take it easy". So this past month has been difficult for me.

What do you mean I have to walk slower? What do you mean it makes me feel dizzy to watch a TV show? What do you mean I can't read? I can't enjoy laying there and looking at words? No, because the words get blurry. The words move. I lose my place. Why is reading so difficult?

On the 9th, I go to see another doctor. She's the one that I thought was nice at first. But, after seeing the restrictions she gave me and after going through the days that I had worked. I felt like she wasn't taking me seriously. At first, my family kept telling me don't go into work. But knowing myself, I know that I'll try to do what I can if I can. What I didn't anticipate, was feeling as if I was a different person. And I've had to tell people that. "I'm not the same person as I was on Monday." 

My coworkers got it on the spot. However, my boss who is similar to me and won't sit down, thought I was overreacting. And I told her, You know that I don't sit down. You know that I would cover you if I could. so believe me when I say I'm having trouble. That I can't do something. Understand that this hurts me to say that I cannot do something. 

The restrictions I got from the lady doctor, was no lifting anything heavier than 15 lbs and no bending. I don't quite remember the first day but I do know that the 6th hour hit and I started shaking. My family was upset with me because I tried to go to work and they told me that I would only make my symptoms worse. I stubborn as I am, like my father, I went to work anyway again. However, the same result happened, I had to sit down and it was hard to do certain duties.

On the 14th, I went to the doctor again. This time, the lady doctor didn't listen to me. She looked at me, told me that I have anxiety issues. That it's all probably in my head. And that I'm fine. The first thing that I told her when I walked in was, "I feel worse." 

What does she do in response? She likes my restrictions. Tells me that I'm okay. And due to the fact that she lightened my restrictions, the company took her side and said that I was fine. And I told them, that I'm not okay. Their response? The doctor says you're fine. So you're fine.

Due to this, The company schedules me for 8 hours. I tell my boss that I know that I'm not going to be okay. She tells me, it's out of her control, because she's not doing my schedule they higher ups are. And it's frustrating. I know that she understands that I'm not okay but I also know that the higher-ups turn to paper. And because the paper says, I'm fully functional, then I'm fully fractional.

As I expected, I get to that 5th hour and I feel awful. So I call the doctor, and I ask her... Is there anything that you can do? Is there any way that you can limit my hours because the company says only you, can restrict my hours. So what she say? No. I'm not allowed to do that. But I can give you 5-minute breaks per hour. 

Happy to hear something from her, I tell her thank you. However, when I look at the restriction sheet that she sends me, right above where she wrote that I need a 5-minute break per hour there is a section that says "limited amount of hours of work per day". And I'm furious.

In fact, I'm so frustrated and angry that I tell the people around me how I feel. And I throw myself into a loop. I'm feeling so much emotion that I'm putting too much into my thinking that I make my headache worse. I get tired because I'm so full of emotion. Which doesn't help my frustration.

Needless to say, I'm frustrated. And I have been since the incident. I've only heard about bad doctor experiences. I've had a few. None, compared to this. I'm not one of those people that leaves zero star reviews at restaurants or leaves hate comments due to bad service of some sort. However, if I do get treated poorly in a restaurant or at a place I don't go back. And I know that if I'm ever assigned to this person again, I will tell them that personally I would rather see someone else. 

What I want to do is tell the full story but I also know what the way that I blog that that I will limit each post. There's much more to tell y'all. As of right now, I'm working on recovering. If you want to hear more about my experience, tune in tomorrow. 

Thank you for taking the time to listen. In this post there is a way, to connect this with culture I haven't even thought of how I would be treated in the Philippines. But I guess I have time to think about that. Again, thank you for reading and as I said, if you want to hear more tune in tomorrow. You may also message me on my social media or you can email me. I wouldn't mind telling you myself. However, it may be easier to read it all when I post it all. Due to the fact that speaking of this post has actually taken a lot of wind out of me. 

Till next time, Nar/Cho/DJ 

P.S: If some of you are willing to read through some of my Wattpad content and leave comments on mistakes you see or how you felt about it that would give me something to do in the future. No, reading isn't easy but when I am able to read again, I'll have those comments to see. And I'll be able to work on my Wattpad again. Please, thank you. If you don't that's all right. Reading this is enough for me. Your wreaths don't go unnoticed. Thank you for being here for me.

June 6th, 2019: BarTech

BarTech Facebook Page

June 2, 2019

  Today, I went to Bar Tech and I was not disappointed! I went on a whim and was planning on getting one drink then leaving but when the live band showed up, I decided to stay. The band’s name is The Treblemakers but I couldn’t find their Facebook because there’s more than one band named The Treblemakers. I looked up the band specifically for the Philippines and it turns out that there are multiple bands with that name.

  It is common for bands to perform covers of well-known songs in the Philippines. I find it interesting and I actually want to get involved in singing in a band if I get the chance. In the first semester, I was asked to join the band but I was worried I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the events. I was able to keep up with the New Tandem (the journalism organization of UNP) and I was involved with an organization called the Young Mind Educators Club but YMEC didn’t do anything for two semesters.

  When I tried to look up the band name from the BarTech Facebook, I came to find that the last post was on May 2^nd. There were three people in the band, one guy who played the acoustic guitar, a female singer, and a female ‘drummer’ who also sang. I wanted to talk to them after they were done but I have a curfew at 9pm so I had to leave around 8:45.

  The reason why I put drummer in quotes is because she wasn’t using a drum set. Instead, she had a sound box that I need to search up so I can place a picture below. It is common for Filipinos to use the sound box because it’s easier to travel with and it’s easy to use. The pitch depends on where a person hits the sound box. Closer to the top is a higher pitch and more of a snare while lower is more of a bass.

Source

  According to wikipedia, the instrument is called a 'Cajón' but anyone I've asked in person here calls it a Soundbox.

To play the Cajón you have to sit on it and play it by striking it with your hand. I don't know their names but for the sake of this entry we'll call the one of the left the guitarist, the middle the singer, and the right is the 'drummer'. 

  The drummer was the person who spoke the most, announcing that they were taking request and giving out any other information but because of the way the sound emitted from the speakers, I couldn’t quite catch everything she was saying in Tagalog. That and, I understand Ilocano better than Tagalog.

  I took more a of a ‘me’ day. I woke up late but it’s because I haven’t been able to sleep well. I’ve always known about BarTech but I hadn’t approached the place because usually, no one was willing to go with me. To be honest, I enjoy the bar! The staff was really nice and I ordered a drink called the ‘Bob Marley’ 

Margarita and Bob Marley

Bob Marley

  The staff accidentally gave me a margarita (which at first I thought was part of the Bob Marley.) I took a sip of the shot and took a sip of the margarita and was like… I don’t know if I’m supposed to mix these or not. When I asked my waiter, he said that they were separate drinks.

  Later, that same waiter asked me if I ordered a margarita. The margaritas in this country are diluted (in my opinion or at least at this location). They weren’t bad but they were not what I associated as ‘a margarita’. When the waiter realized his mistake, I asked how much the margarita was. I ended up spending P510 which calculated to $10. I did spend too much but the drinks were worth it and the atmosphere is nice.

  I decided to keep the margarita and even ordered a second one. I was going to order another shot but the shots were legitamently shots. I know that sounds funny but at another bar that I’ve been too, the shot amount was not a ‘legitament’ shot and was more like two to three shots (which was fine with me). Since the margaritas were the same price for more content, I decided to buy a second one and sit and listen to the band.

In Filipino terms, this would have me trippin' off my shit but I was raised by a Irish man who taught me how to handle my shit. In truth, most Filipinos are lightweights in this country. A normal Filipino would be drunk off of the shot or the first margarita lol. 

  The staff was very interactive and one of them (my main waiter) was really funny. While they were singing he pretended to play the keyboard and sing. When he turned and realized I was watching him, he blushed and walked away from the band. It wasn’t difficult to watch him, it’s not as if he was being secretive, standing next to the band as if he was part of it. I thought it was adorable and I would later catch him rocking out in between songs.

  The band ended up playing three request before I left. One song was in Tagalog, another one was I’m Yours (not by Jason Mraz), and A World New World (yes, the song off of Aladdin). I knew some of the songs they were singing and I even knew some of the Tagalog songs. It made me think, I can do this. I can totally sing these covers, all I have to do is practice!

  Before I leave Vigan, I hope to visit BarTech again. I wouldn’t want to go by myself but I may have to. I invited a friend of mine but he didn’t answer my text. The night before, he had called me and asked me to join him because he was drinking by himself. He knows I have a curfew but because he was drunk he didn’t remember.

Overall, I have to say my first experience at BarTech was nice! I sat inside (outside it stunk of sewage) so I took a seat and enjoyed myself. I didn’t order any food because earlier I had been at Café Uno and I had eaten there. Café Uno is a good place to chill and the food is good but it’s not my taste. I enjoy their drinks and the food isn’t bad but the food is meant to eat with more than one person. Usually, there’s wifi but I wasn’t able to get on the connection the time I went.

  If any of my readers find themselves in Vigan and have the funds, I recommend visiting both Café Uno and BarTech. Bartech opens after six in the afternoon while I think Café Uno opens at nine in the morning but I’m not sure. I hope I can find the page of the band because I wanted to like their Facebook and present their links below but until I find them here are the links of the places I went today.

Facebook
Source

Facebook

Here are a few more pictures from that night!

There cute table decor!

My phone wouldn't work unless I used the stylist ^^

Another Selfie!

 Part of their menu!

  Also, down below are ways that you can keep up with me! It’s officially vacation time and I hope to hear from my readers! Let me know your thoughts, questions, and/or any comments! Thanks for reading, and tune in next week!

DJ/Cho/Nar

Keep up with me at the following:

Ask Questions Here

 This will send me an email with your questions you don’t have to leave a name. I will post the answer to the blog!

 Facebook

      This is mainly for communication so go ahead, add me. Message me every once in a while so that I remember who you are. Otherwise, I'll delete you at the end of the year when I clear through my facebook lol.

 Instagram

       I follow anyone who follows me! This is mainly pictures of where I go!

 Wattpad

May 28th, 2019

Hello All!

  Now that I have time to write these, I’m going to write about my plan since the semester is pretty much over. For the rest of May and part of June I wanted to stay in Vigan City so I can walk around and actually write to y’all about where I usually go to study, or places that I like to go in general! Eventually, I want to buy land in this city. I like San Emilio, but in order to make in this country, I’d have to buy land here in Vigan. (Of course, this is an idea not an actual plan but I know that it’ll be on my mind in later years.)

  Overall, I enjoyed this semester. Each semester brought stress to my plate but they didn’t ruin my experience of the Philippines as a whole. There is so much to see in this country. In order to unlock certain areas, you have to be able to speak the language of the locals (not English or the national language but the language the people speak at home). The reason why I say this is because the people will treat you differently if you put in the effort to learn their language.

  Being able to communicate with the people here is good but being able to experience their different cultures is an even better experience. This month makes a full year of me being here on the 25^th. I went home in December (yes, I didn’t tell everyone). The reason I didn’t tell anyone is because I wasn’t there to bring attention to myself. Next time I come home, I’ll be sure to indicate that I’m there.

  I’m looking forward to being able to share history about both the Philippines and the United States (specifically Texas). I’m thinking about making a vlog once I go home because the internet is faster and I feel that I would keep up with it more over there. Here, it depends on the connection of where I’m at that determines how fast the internet is and even then, it’s more about how ‘slower’ a connection is during certain parts of the day or when I’m in certain areas.

  It frustrates me that I have not been able to learn the languages since I’ve been here but the simple fact is, I needed guidance and I didn’t have someone who had the ability to teach me constantly. I had tutors during my free time and their free time, but it wasn’t enough for me to practice it. The languages I mainly focused on were Ilocano and Tagalog.

  For Ilocano, I focused on talking to the locals (not so much reading the language but actually speaking it and comprehending it). My tutor was showing me the written version but the problem with writing in Ilocano is that there is no standard version of Ilocano (the closest is a published magazine) but that’s one official documentation of the language. What I mean by standard is that in Ilocano, if a word sounds a certain way, it can be spelled that way.

  Ex: Diak ammo (translation: I don’t know) can be spelled in a variety of ways. A few examples are ‘Jak ammo, jak mo, and djak ammo.

  As long as the idea of the word is there, the word is wrong. The English version of this is the American vs British way of spelling certain words:  defence vs defense, cancelled vs canceled, enroll vs enroll, etc.

  Out of the languages I’m exposed to, I pick up the quickest on Itneg because it’s the one I was exposed to the most but that doesn’t mean that I use it. The language I can speak and understand the most is Ilocano because it’s the language I used with the locals. Tagalog is the language I can sing, read, and write the easiest because it’s the language I can refer to in the books. There are actual textbooks over Tagalog or Filipino, but there are no accurate books in Ilocano except the magazine that I mentioned.

  Being here has helped me understand the culture better. I’ve also been enlightened on the different religions as of recently. I, personally, don’t declare a religion, but I’m not against religion either. I understand that religion is made to help people understand the world and how it was created. It is also there to help people understand morals and figure out how they should live their lives. Personally, I don’t see why I have to be limited to one religion, when I can listen to all of the religions and see for myself what makes sense and use what I learn from each religion and integrate it into my life.

  Lately, I’ve been thinking of writing a public journal that documents my research over mythology, religion, philosophy, psychology, and culture. It’s a lot to write about which is why I’d only focus on one of the topics and the next time I would write I’d write about another topic. There’s a lot to learn in these subjects and I want to share what I learn with others.

  Something I wish I could explain to the Filipinos around me is that I come from a multicultural country, where it’s okay to not have a religion, it’s okay to be yourself, it’s okay to not follow traditions… One barrier that I’ve faced that I cannot break is that some of these people do not wish to extend their knowledge and they want to stay ignorant. Ignorance is bliss, but it is also a choice.

  I hope that I can keep myself from falling under the category of the ‘general population’. There’s a lot that I can share about the Philippines and the first thing that I want to do is start from the beginning of my journey (when I first started this blog) and compare how times have changed since I first stepped foot into the Philippines.

  I would also like to mention that I passed my aptitude test! In order to become a sophomore, I needed to pass that test. So, I have the ability to continue next semester as a sophomore! (Think of the aptitude as the TAKS Test or STAR Test during high school but for college).

  For the summer I would like everyone to help me with my blog by asking me questions that y’all have on your minds so that I can make a Q&A sort of post. I have many topics that I can talk about but I need people to help me figure out what I should talk about first. I have ADHD and it’s hard enough for me to focus. If I don’t have a list of questions, I tend to go ‘left field’ on my stories or post which is why I need my audiences help!

Please let me know what’s on your mind! Thank you for reading!

DJ/Cho/Nar

Keep up with me at the following:

Ask Questions Here

 This will send me an email with your questions you don’t have to leave a name. I will post the answer to the blog!

 Facebook

      This is mainly for communication so go ahead, add me. Message me every once in a while so that I remember who you are. Otherwise, I'll delete you at the end of the year when I clear through my facebook lol.

 Instagram

       I follow anyone who follows me! This is mainly pictures of where I go!

 Wattpad
(This week's Watt!) 

(Link)

May 21, 2019

  School is almost out for the month and I can’t help but wonder what I should do with my spare time. There are many topics that I want to cover that I think about but I don’t actually write down. It’s as if I mentally write about it then I realize that I haven’t actually written it down.

  My friends have talked to me at different times and I keep meaning to write about them on this blog. I lost a flash drive so I lost some of the entries that I wrote. Hopefully, with all this time that I have, I can keep write up more entries for you all.

  The neat concept of a travel blog is that even when I go home, I can still write about my hometown! Yes, to people of my hometown, that can sound boring but to people in the Philippines, writing about what I do at home is a new experience to them. Lately, I’ve been living my life and not writing about it. I tend to forget or I’m too tired to ‘not’ write in poetry form.

  I want to thank those four consist readers who read over my poems despite me not writing actual entries! You all deserve a gold star in my book! Although, I do not hear from any of you, all of you exist to me and your presence is know which is all that matters! Thank you for your loyalty as readers.

  Last week I wrote about Mother’s Day and how family cultures are different depending on where a person is raised or not raised. Today, I want to bring back up the meeting with the Tuan Thailand band and introduce to y’all people that I met two weeks ago on Friday May 10^th!

  Last month I got to experience a concert of a Thailand band called Tuan Thailand. I got to be part of the concert but more importantly, I got to meet to interview the bass player of the Tuan Thailand band. Through this interview, my world suddenly shook. Even though Win, the bass player of Tuan Thailand, had been never met me until that moment, he didn’t judge me for not fitting his description of a Filipino.

  To him, I was a Filipino but something about me was different. He couldn’t quite place why I sounded different and slightly acted different from the Filipinos he had experienced up to that point but he didn’t think of me as ‘not a Filipino’ which is bias thought of most Filipinos when they find out that I cannot speak Filipino or Tagalog. It was that moment, when Win looked at me and conveyed that I was different not incorrect that my world turned upside down.

  It did not occur to me that I wanted to fit into the society around me. I hadn’t realized how out of place I felt until he made me feel in place. Thanks to Win, I took a step back and saw that it wasn’t that I wasn’t accepted into society as a Filipino… I was asking the wrong people to accept me into society as a Filipino.

  Well, I hadn’t exactly asked ‘God’ or anyone for help but I had to sit through a guidance counsel session after a two weeks because it was required of each class to visit the guidance counsel. The guidance counsel then tried to figure out if we needed help in a specific area or they would try to get us to understand the few others in our counsel session. Luckily, I got my best friend and two other girls that I didn’t feel ‘close’ to but they weren’t my enemies.

  After the guidance council meeting my world was still in pieces. I knew that there were people in the society who accepted me for who I am but I was still shaken that it took one interaction with a stranger for me to see that my standards for myself were not aligned with my values. These people I wanted to be accepted by would never truly accept me no matter what I did so I needed to refocus on who was important to me and whose opinions actually mattered.

  On May 10^th, I met a group of people at KFC. I saw two dark skinned people and a white guy. I was standing in line behind them and listened to the white person’s accident. He wasn’t from America or from Europe, so what did that leave? At the time, I couldn’t quite place it. The two black people that were with him also didn’t seem like Nigerians. Their hair was different and their style of clothing looked familiar. Finally, I built the courage to present myself.

  I said ‘excuse me’ then proceed to ask where the white guy was from. Australia, he declared. Of course! I thought, mentally face palming myself. How could I not remember that? The Australian was glad that I had picked up on his accent and that I didn’t assume he was American. It was ironic because I am America. He said that most people assume that he’s American and can’t understand that he’s not. I knew how that felt.

  “It’s just that…” I smirked. “I’m also not from here. I’m actually from Texas!” And at that moment, the black guy standing next to him got excited, “Right on!” He said and held his hand up for a high five. I set my hand on his to complete the gesture but wasn’t entirely sure why he got excited. “We’re from Texas.” He said with a hint of southern twang.

  That made my heart light up. No wonder they didn’t seem in place to me. While waiting in line, we talked and began to know each other. I found out that the group had met because they were all Jehovah’s Witnesses. It was dangerous territory to express my opinion on religion so I did what I could to explain myself in the most neutral way. I am neutral to religion and I’m willing to listen to each one but that doesn’t mean that I will declare myself as someone who is only under one ‘religion’. In truth, I take the lesson I learn from each and apply it to my life and they didn’t judge me for that.

  On Sunday, I returned to Vigan (I had gone to Labayug to deliver something to my auntie) and asked them if they were free. I was happy to find out that they were available and I got to meet an addition to their family. There was a father, son, and the mother of the son. Since then, I’ve been able to get along with them very well and I talk to them about my experience here in Vigan and how it’s different from the states.

  This family is very good at listening and they all have interesting stories themselves. I’m glad we can sit at the table and talk as friends without having to bring religion into the picture 24/7. It’s an American quality that I miss. Through this family I was able to find people who could understand me in a Filipino sense (the mom is Filipino and is also dark skinned so she knows what it’s like to be treated less than what she is) and the father and son understand the foreign issues I go through. They know about the bias opinions and prejudice because they experience it as well.

  Even though I’m not religious, I have to say that these past two months have paved quite a path for me. I strongly believe that what is meant to happen, will happen, and because of that I’m excited for this new friendship that I’ve made. I may not be their religion but I’m open to learning about it.

  In truth, I’m interested in learning about psychology, philosophy and religions and I’m thinking about starting a journal over it. It’s an idea and I hope that I can follow through with it. But, for now I’ll stick with my poetry and this blog.

Thank you for tuning in this week! Tune in next week to read more!

DJ/Cho/Nar

P.S: My Teacher Apptitude Test Score was a 'High Pass'! Meaning, 90-100 score rating where 100 is perfect!

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May 14, 2019

Hello All!

  Thank you stopping in to read about my week! To begin, I want to start with Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers around the world! Whether you have a child of a furbaby I wish you a happy mother’s day!

  To begin, I’ll share a little about my mom. My mother’s hometown is Paltoc, San Emilio, Ilocos Sur. She can speak Itneg (Kankanaey), Ilocano, Filipino/Tagalog, and English. She had the ability to read Hebrew, Latin, and Greek.

  My family on her side is very old school. They derive from the indigenous tribe Kankanaey. Based on my experience, my family on that side still keeps to the old traditions. These traditions consist of dances, ceremonies, and generally how the family functions.

  For my mother’s family, there are three main roles: The head of the family, the financial responsible person of the whole family (as well as their own), and the person in charge of the family house. In Filipino culture in general, a family has the head of the family (the father or the eldest son) and the financial holder (the mother) who is also in charge of the house and maintaining it.

  Generally speaking, men are supposed to go out and get a job while women stay in the house and take care of the house and children. It is their responsibility to teach the children manners and proper etiquette.

  On my mother’s side of the family the head of the family has to be a male. As far as I know, the financial person is female, and the person in charge of the family house is male. From what I understand, the previous generation of people were my uncle (who is now in Canada. He was one of the few siblings to get an education), my mother (who is a certified preacher and was a early childhood teacher), and my other uncle (the youngest sibling who went to school to be a mechanic. He also knows how to fix almost anything.) The current head of the family is my cousin (because he is also a certified pastor and will be graduating in political science), I am next in line to be the financially responsible person, and my younger cousin (the eldest son of the uncle who is in charge of the family house) will take over the family house and taking care of Inang (our grandmother) when the time comes.

  Now, I know some Filipinos will be reading this so I want to explain the ‘American’ way of how a family functions. To begin, American is a nationality not a race which is why the way a family function depends on cultural background (usually race) of a family. When I was growing up, the head of the family was my father. But, he didn’t usually have to use the position unless there was an argument in the family and even though then, he might do something about it. My father had faith in me and my sisters’ independence which was why he never usually stepped into our personal lives. My mom was in charge of finances and my aunt (my dad’s sister) was the owner of the house my family was living in.

  During my high school years I spent more time with friends’ families than my own. Most of my friends were Mexican so I learned some Spanish from them. From what I observed in most races the men go out to work while the women stay at home. There’s more of ‘the boss of the family’ and ‘the caregiver’. Most cultures I’ve experienced don’t give the financial responsibility to the women. Rather, the women make the list of what to get and the men go get it.

  In truth, when I think about it… Out of the first then friends who pop up in my head ten of them have both their birth parents. The six remaining friends their situation with their parents isn’t clear to me but the remaining four have separated parents. Four of those friends come from a multicultural background (Mexican + another culture) and (white + another culture). Three of them are pure Mexican ant the remaining are white.

  To clear terms up, in the United States we call ‘white’ people ‘white’ regardless if their lineage traces back to England, Scotland, Ireland, etc. If your skin tone is white, we call you white. Now, there are Mexican who are light skinned but those people usually trace back their lineage to Spain and not the Aztecs.

  Regardless of culture background, it is up to the person to decide if they want to continue traditions or not. Overall, in the states, we push that a person should do what’s right for them, not for the whole family.

  Nine of the friends I thought of earlier have supportive parents (separated or not). Most Asian families that I know of end up in the same situation I grew up in where most customs are dropped and independence is the main focus of the parents. These parents usually are workaholics and spend more time at work than at home.

  Generally speaking, there are theses biases/prejudice about family. Personally, I don’t see why a family has to function only one way. Old traditions die hard. I’m not saying that the older traditions should be forgotten. Instead, the older traditions and modern customs should find a middle ground. I strongly believe that different cultures can co-exist if they truly want to.

  My childhood is long passed. I can’t access anything before age ten and my adolescence was harsh. Living in the Philippines has helped me understand my mother better. I also have to thank my boyfriend’s family. Their customs prepared me to adjust to the blood family I have on my mom’s side.

  Despite our differences, I’ll always love my mother. I may not agree with certain habits and life choices but all I can do is not do what I agree with. My mother has never mentally left the Philippines (and what frustrates me is that it took my boyfriend pointing it out to me for me to realize it). People ask me if I’m bitter about it but I tell them that I’m not. During my adolescence I learned through my band director that you can’t change what has already happened. You can only change your attitude towards it and what you do with the information from that point on.

  That being said, I love my mom. I can’t change who she is but I can make do with the time I have with her. In truth, my parents seem closer when I’m eight thousand miles away rather than living in the same city.

  The only time I spend time with my family is on Sundays for Sunday lunch/dinner. Or, it’s a holiday and we all meet up for that. My family understand that we all have separate lives so long as a family member participates in one family gathering, then the family as a whole won’t be upset.

  If you have any questions about culture feel free to comment, message me, or get a hold of me on any of my social media accounts. I’d be willing to answer any questions! Again, happy mother’s day to all mothers and thank you for tuning in this week!

-DJ/Nar/Cho

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Sunday Watt's: Blinding Pride

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April 9th, 2019

Calle Brewery

April 8^th, 2019:

  This day was a good day! Right now I’m trying to write poems for the New Tandem’s poetry book ‘LAYAP’. It stands for something but I’m not sure what. I do know that the theme and having people actually respond to my poems in a one to one conversation helps me improve my writing immensely.

  My brother asked me to go to a brewery in town. I hadn’t gone because most of my friends don’t like to drink or they think that they’re too young but most of them are eighteen going on nineteen. (Yes, most of them are born in 2000 if not 1999.) Imagine, I try to make myself stand out but the fact is that I come from a different culture and age group than most of the people around me.

  Luckily, through the New Tandem I was able to find someone who was willing to go with me to this brewery. There’s another bar that I would like to go to and I hope that he will be willing to go with me. If not, I’ll have to venture out and make more friends.

  About the bar: This place had a very nice atmosphere. It wasn’t a place that had this ‘rowdy’ feeling to it. It was very calm and spacious. I met my friend there and I was so happy to go drinking with someone without getting hit on! In the U.S that’s the main reason why I don’t go to bars because I get hit on constantly.

  This was our first subject and he was amazed. Really? He asked. I told him, yea. In the states, I’m a cute Asian so I’m the first one people see when I walk in. He brought something to my attention that amused me. “Isn’t it funny that Westerners think that Asians are so unique and ‘sexy’ but over here in the Philippines it’s the westerns that we think are unique and ‘sexy,?”

  It didn’t occur to me that this was how the Philippines viewed the world that I came from. To an extent, I did but I wasn’t living that life so it was interesting to see laid out in front of me. In both cultures, I’m hit on, regardless because I look young even for a Filipino. Due to that, I didn’t exactly pay attention to who was this idea of ‘sexy’ or ‘lusted over’.

  He shared with me how he doesn’t always have a drinking buddy and was happy that I was willing to go out with him and drink and talk in public. This is a cultural thing that’s not usually acceptable. I had to explain that to most people, going out to drink is limited to ‘women don’t drink in public’, ‘men are the only one who can drink in public’, ‘men and women don’t drink together’. If men drink with women it’s because they’re considered ‘gay’.

  When I told him this he shared that some people that we interact with don’t like to drink with him. He always drank with the same person if the group went out for drinks but he had never drank with the others. I knew discrimination was present but it didn’t occur to me that he was included in this discrimination.

  The reason why we could drink together was because we didn’t mind drinking without someone at the same intellectual level. To us, the bias of who was drinking with us wasn’t weird. All we cared about was going out to drink with someone for the good of company. Now that I think about it we compared our drinking experiences.

  Through preference, I didn’t enjoy drinking in public because most of the time I would be flirted with. Or, I would get looks of disgust because I’m a woman in the Philippines so customs say ‘I can’t drink’. Or, if I’m drinking anything other than wine what I’m drinking isn’t a ‘woman’s drink’. Since when did society label whether a drink was feminine or masculine?

  His drinking experiences usually surfaced as getting drunk to the point of no return. He said he liked to drink and it was sort of like a competition. He had never experienced sitting with someone, eating, and drinking, while having a good time or not flirting.

  Even though the interactions with this friend are few moments that I can grab with him each time that I’m with him I can sync with him really well on an intellectual level. He’s funny and he understands my humor. I don’t always get his due to the language barrier but I’m happy enough that he understands my humor at the least.

  He never belittles me and seems to always have the best interest for the people he’s friends with. At first when I met him I didn’t understand why he was in New Tandem but as time went by I realized that he’s in New Tandem because of his ideas and output. He gives energy to the New Tandem that is similar to mine. We’re idealist.

  Apparently, I like bitter beer while he likes fruiter tasting beer. It was funny because the first two beers we got, I got the Diego and he got the Espada. We had small glasses that we could poor each other’s drink in so that we could try both drinks. The Espada was fruity while the Diego was bitter. The second round of beers we got were the Canyon and the Bigote. I think he ended up with the Canyon because it was fruity and I ended up with the Bigote because it was bitter. The waiter had given him the Bigote at first and me the Canyon and we ended up disliking the tall glass we had so we ended up switching glasses.

  I’ll be uploading pictures this week. For now, I will leave this here for all of you to read over. I have to say, if any of you find yourself in Vigan City I recommend going to the Calle Brewery. My brother wanted a beer label but they didn’t have any so I ended up buying him a mug but he wasn’t disappoint!

Thank you for reading, everyone. Tune in next week to hear about another adventure in my life!

DJ/Cho/Nar

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April 8th, 2019

February 25^th, 2019

Howdy y’all!

  Contrary to belief not all of us Texans say, howdy. Some of us do but not all of us. Lol. This past week was kind of a blur. We’ve had missing teachers but they still give us assignments so I’ve been busy. One of my cousin’s father’s passed away and the funeral with be on the fifteen of March so I’ll be going back to San Emilio that Friday. I’ll be missing class but it’s nothing I can’t make up.

  I’m now on the fourth book of Game of Thrones! I kept putting it to the side otherwise I would have finished it long ago. I try to limit the amount of reading I do in a day because books here are expensive and even though I enjoy reading through them I can’t afford to start a collection here. I mean, I suppose I can but feeding me and my cousin is important…only on some days…

  My friends and I went to Shakey’s this week. If you don’t know what Shakey’s is… Well, if you ever visit the Philippines this is a place you have to visit. It’s probably the best pizza I’ve ever had and originally they were franchised in the United States. I don’t know if there are any left but I do know that the owner moved his base of operation to the Philippines many years ago.

  Last weekend I went to Paltoc, San Emilio. A lot has changed and not everyone stays at the house anymore. My auntie’s business is getting more attention and there was unwelcomed company where her store is so she stays there some nights.

  I should have been aware from my experience in Texas that I was sleeping in their room. I didn’t know that it was originally theirs. I figured it was but this weekend they had their stuff in the room and I felt bad because I was now sleeping in the room while they were sleeping upstairs. With me not being around, my cousin Rio has the whole second floor to himself and my auntie, uncle, and their other son, cousin Ninyo sleep in the room that I sleep in right now.

  Eventually, I want to add more rooms to this house. If they’re up to build it. I know my Uncle Krilo wouldn’t mind putting it together. Besides, it would take a long time for me to get the funds. But, I’d like to add more room to the house. Eventually, I want to buy land myself.

  I’ve been spending a lot of time on Wattpad. I tend to share my poetry and thoughts there. It’s like an escape from the stress that I’m dealing with. I am getting better at understanding Ilocano, my issue now is being able to speak it. I can write and read in Tagalog. I can even sing in Tagalog but I can’t speak it or understand it.

  As for my skin it has finally adjusted! As long as I keep up with my showering routine my skin shows no signs of issues. I’ve come to learn that the biggest factor to my skin issue is what I eat. For those of you who do not know, I’m allergic to glutton and dairy products. I’m allergic to other things but these are my main allergies.

  Here, I eat rice, meat, and vegetables with the occasional ice cream. I sometimes have a snack of fruits. I don’t each chocolate and I don’t care to eat bread. I’ve had to cut out coffee due to the way it reacts to my medication. Between that and having to walk everywhere (even though the distance is fairly short compared to Texas walks) I am consistently walking and having to climb up stairs as well.

 

  If anything, the people say that rice is bad for you and people here cut out rice if they are trying to go on a diet. I personally think they’re all crazy because they’re all tiny people and I’m one of the bigger Asians in this country so to me all of them going on diets makes me laugh. Sure, more food for me I suppose.

  I’ve started up my tutorial again in Ilocano and I told my teacher that the purpose of the tutorial is to be able to survive and speak to the locals because speaking Tagalog, although is convenient, it is not applicable for the city that I live in. Most of the people speak Ilocano and for those who speak Ilocano they tend to give lower prices to those who speak Ilocano. If you make yourself look like a foreigner or not from the area they will charge you more (I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before but this is my main reason for not using Tagalog).

  Other than that, most of the people I interact with don’t speak Tagalog, they speak Ilocano. So, I can naturally hear Ilocano around me and pick out Tagalog but it takes me longer to process Tagalog. What I’ve learned from school in general is that learning is a natural process. Certain subjects don’t come naturally to some people and that’s when a teacher is needed to help guide that learner when it comes to that subject.

  It’s frustrating trying to learn two languages at once. Especially since most of the online content that has been standardized is Tagalog but in order for to survive I need to speak Ilocano and Itneg. I pick up on Itneg pretty easily too. However, that language is limited to my barangay and no the city that I live in.

  I’ve come to accept that language learning is the most difficult for me. I’m glad that I can sing in Tagalog but I cannot understand what I’m singing about (except that it’s probably about a love song). Overall, I do know that I’ve learned a lot from this country culturally and I’m glad that I had the chance to be here. I hope I can finish classes here but I’ve also come to realize that… I’m the only person limiting my learning process.

  It doesn’t matter how many classes I go through or how many years that pass. I will always be able to learn whether it’s in a classroom or outside of a classroom. It’s formal for me to have a paper saying that I’m a certified teacher. However, the paper means nothing if I don’t know how to teach.

  I can teach whether I have a paper or not. As long as there is a willing person to learn and I have material to teach I can teach it. I want to teach people of all ages. When it comes to learning up until eighth grade, all of what kids learn up until that point is simple enough to teach as long as you understand it. No one needs a degree to tutor their younger sibling math, how to read, or to explain a concept in science. We have the internet. We have our own experiences.

  I came to the Philippines to learn about the culture while going to school and I’ve achieved that. I’m happy that I’ve been given this opportunity. It has been a real eye opener to me and how they view the world I came from verse the way I viewed their world before I came to them.

  Well, I don’t want to babble. I’m doing well and would like my friends to message me when they have a chance. I do enjoy talking to all of you and I actually need to post about a conversation I had with a friend. I’m sorry I do not do much vlogging. I’ve been taking one minute videos of where I am and what is around me so that everyone can see what I see but I haven’t posted them.

  If I upload them they have to be uploaded while I’m at an internet café doing homework and I usually forget about them by then. I’ll see if I can get some video set up for you guys this coming March. Live video feeds fail me due to connection so I won’t be doing any of those but I’ll see what I can do with an introduction and a theme.

Anyways, Thank you all for listen and I hope y’all tune in next week!

P.S: This should have been posted on the date written above ^^'

DJ/Cho/Nar

Keep up with me at the following:

Ask Questions Here

 This will send me an email with your questions you don’t have to leave a name. I will post the answer to the blog!

 Facebook

      This is mainly for communication so go ahead, add me. Message me every once in a while so that I remember who you are. Otherwise, I'll delete you at the end of the year when I clear through my facebook lol.

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 If I don’t write a post here there’s probably a chance that I have written something on my Wattpad because there I post poems! They are shorter reads with more meaning. I am currently working on two poetry books but the more important one that ties into this travel blog is called ‘A Barrier Meant To Be Broken’.