May 21, 2019

  School is almost out for the month and I can’t help but wonder what I should do with my spare time. There are many topics that I want to cover that I think about but I don’t actually write down. It’s as if I mentally write about it then I realize that I haven’t actually written it down.

  My friends have talked to me at different times and I keep meaning to write about them on this blog. I lost a flash drive so I lost some of the entries that I wrote. Hopefully, with all this time that I have, I can keep write up more entries for you all.

  The neat concept of a travel blog is that even when I go home, I can still write about my hometown! Yes, to people of my hometown, that can sound boring but to people in the Philippines, writing about what I do at home is a new experience to them. Lately, I’ve been living my life and not writing about it. I tend to forget or I’m too tired to ‘not’ write in poetry form.

  I want to thank those four consist readers who read over my poems despite me not writing actual entries! You all deserve a gold star in my book! Although, I do not hear from any of you, all of you exist to me and your presence is know which is all that matters! Thank you for your loyalty as readers.

  Last week I wrote about Mother’s Day and how family cultures are different depending on where a person is raised or not raised. Today, I want to bring back up the meeting with the Tuan Thailand band and introduce to y’all people that I met two weeks ago on Friday May 10^th!

  Last month I got to experience a concert of a Thailand band called Tuan Thailand. I got to be part of the concert but more importantly, I got to meet to interview the bass player of the Tuan Thailand band. Through this interview, my world suddenly shook. Even though Win, the bass player of Tuan Thailand, had been never met me until that moment, he didn’t judge me for not fitting his description of a Filipino.

  To him, I was a Filipino but something about me was different. He couldn’t quite place why I sounded different and slightly acted different from the Filipinos he had experienced up to that point but he didn’t think of me as ‘not a Filipino’ which is bias thought of most Filipinos when they find out that I cannot speak Filipino or Tagalog. It was that moment, when Win looked at me and conveyed that I was different not incorrect that my world turned upside down.

  It did not occur to me that I wanted to fit into the society around me. I hadn’t realized how out of place I felt until he made me feel in place. Thanks to Win, I took a step back and saw that it wasn’t that I wasn’t accepted into society as a Filipino… I was asking the wrong people to accept me into society as a Filipino.

  Well, I hadn’t exactly asked ‘God’ or anyone for help but I had to sit through a guidance counsel session after a two weeks because it was required of each class to visit the guidance counsel. The guidance counsel then tried to figure out if we needed help in a specific area or they would try to get us to understand the few others in our counsel session. Luckily, I got my best friend and two other girls that I didn’t feel ‘close’ to but they weren’t my enemies.

  After the guidance council meeting my world was still in pieces. I knew that there were people in the society who accepted me for who I am but I was still shaken that it took one interaction with a stranger for me to see that my standards for myself were not aligned with my values. These people I wanted to be accepted by would never truly accept me no matter what I did so I needed to refocus on who was important to me and whose opinions actually mattered.

  On May 10^th, I met a group of people at KFC. I saw two dark skinned people and a white guy. I was standing in line behind them and listened to the white person’s accident. He wasn’t from America or from Europe, so what did that leave? At the time, I couldn’t quite place it. The two black people that were with him also didn’t seem like Nigerians. Their hair was different and their style of clothing looked familiar. Finally, I built the courage to present myself.

  I said ‘excuse me’ then proceed to ask where the white guy was from. Australia, he declared. Of course! I thought, mentally face palming myself. How could I not remember that? The Australian was glad that I had picked up on his accent and that I didn’t assume he was American. It was ironic because I am America. He said that most people assume that he’s American and can’t understand that he’s not. I knew how that felt.

  “It’s just that…” I smirked. “I’m also not from here. I’m actually from Texas!” And at that moment, the black guy standing next to him got excited, “Right on!” He said and held his hand up for a high five. I set my hand on his to complete the gesture but wasn’t entirely sure why he got excited. “We’re from Texas.” He said with a hint of southern twang.

  That made my heart light up. No wonder they didn’t seem in place to me. While waiting in line, we talked and began to know each other. I found out that the group had met because they were all Jehovah’s Witnesses. It was dangerous territory to express my opinion on religion so I did what I could to explain myself in the most neutral way. I am neutral to religion and I’m willing to listen to each one but that doesn’t mean that I will declare myself as someone who is only under one ‘religion’. In truth, I take the lesson I learn from each and apply it to my life and they didn’t judge me for that.

  On Sunday, I returned to Vigan (I had gone to Labayug to deliver something to my auntie) and asked them if they were free. I was happy to find out that they were available and I got to meet an addition to their family. There was a father, son, and the mother of the son. Since then, I’ve been able to get along with them very well and I talk to them about my experience here in Vigan and how it’s different from the states.

  This family is very good at listening and they all have interesting stories themselves. I’m glad we can sit at the table and talk as friends without having to bring religion into the picture 24/7. It’s an American quality that I miss. Through this family I was able to find people who could understand me in a Filipino sense (the mom is Filipino and is also dark skinned so she knows what it’s like to be treated less than what she is) and the father and son understand the foreign issues I go through. They know about the bias opinions and prejudice because they experience it as well.

  Even though I’m not religious, I have to say that these past two months have paved quite a path for me. I strongly believe that what is meant to happen, will happen, and because of that I’m excited for this new friendship that I’ve made. I may not be their religion but I’m open to learning about it.

  In truth, I’m interested in learning about psychology, philosophy and religions and I’m thinking about starting a journal over it. It’s an idea and I hope that I can follow through with it. But, for now I’ll stick with my poetry and this blog.

Thank you for tuning in this week! Tune in next week to read more!

DJ/Cho/Nar

P.S: My Teacher Apptitude Test Score was a 'High Pass'! Meaning, 90-100 score rating where 100 is perfect!

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