Week 25: A General Idea of What's On My Mind

10.1.18:

 I want to start with... Today someone in my life was lost to what sounds to be suicide. I don't have verification yet but I do know that yesterday, I felt that I wanted to quit. I didn't. Despite the lack of resources I had. I tried to write my last letter. I ended up being to tired to follow through.

  Jordan, 

  I wish it was me. I don't know what caused you to give up. But I was there yesterday and now I realize that your departure was what I felt. You called out to me, yet I didn't understand who was trying to talk to me. I didn't know that you felt the way I felt. I don't have regrets. But I do know that you mean a lot to the people around me and I never thought negative of you. You're in a better place now. But had I only listened, you could have been lived another day. 

  No, I don't blame Jordan's death of myself. But I do understand suicidal thoughts on a personal level. When it comes down to it, people who feel that way don't want to reach out. They feel that they are a burden on others. They don't know how to speak their mind. Suicide has a different language that those who experience a personal bond with it can only understand. 

  We know we should reach out. But we can't say the words literally. We don't know how people will react. They might send us to an asylum. Whereas, some people see this as 'getting help', others see this as being placed in a jail for the mentally insane. 

  Whatever was on Jordan's mind. I wish he would have said it. No matter how far my classmates from school go, I still care about all of you and I want you all to know that. What I remember about Jordan was his smile. There was a light in his eyes and he always seemed to be having a good time. 

  But now I know that there was something deeper. Something that... Had I taken the time to think about it, I would have saw it. No one deserves to think that they can't make it anymore. If anyone ever needs someone to talk to please reach out to me. I care about you. Even if we have never spent any time together. I want you all to know that I'm here. I may be 13 hours ahead of those who are at home but that comes to an advantage. I'm awake when others are not and I'm here. I always will be.

  As I said, I almost gave up yesterday. And it pains me to know that it could have been both of us. I can't save him now. But I can save the next person. He was a good guy. We were never personally close. But he was close to my friends and that's enough to make him close to me. 

  Rest easy, J. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. 

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The following is a rough draft of my thoughts on 9.22.18. Let me know your thoughts on the junk that was on my mind. 

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9.22.18

  The longer I stay in this country the more I realize how poor it is. Where I come from, there has been trial and error. There has been advancement. In my homeland I am luckier than I realize. Here, there are perks but they come with a cost.

  My dream was originally to fix the US education system. But I see now that I need to do more than that. I was brought to this country to make a difference. I know that I'll need a lot of help in order to get my dream's achievement where it need to be.

  Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How?

  Who will I be affecting?

  I'll need to start with the US education system. While I'm doing that I can reach out to the Philippine's education system.

Who am I focusing on?

  Since I'm getting a General Education degree I will begin with elementary students and Filipino adults who want to learn a language. Either English, Filipino, or Ilokano. (US)

  (PI) The college is truly where I want to focus my efforts. If I get everything secured then I can bring people into my cause and that will help spread my views over the years and all over the Philippines.

  I want to start small goals to help the elementaries as well. The ones I have to interact with or the ones that are close to my family. The names Gallardo and Compal will be engraved in anything I do.

What am I trying to do in general?

  Educate people who are willing to be educated. I want to reach out to people who cannot afford education. I want to tutor people who are willing to learn no matter what age. (US)

  Bring people into my cause so that I can spread the effort of what I would like to change in the Philippines through other people. (PI)

Examples:

  People who have missed their opportunity in getting a High School Diploma need to get a GED 'General Education Diploma?' I want to help those people.

  Children who have teachers who do not understand them need help as well. I want to work with parents to see that their child needs a one on one tutor instead of a classroom setting.

  People who were not given the opportunity to learn the language of the Philippines (Filipinos specifically). (US)

Generally, the Philippines is poor. I want to help bring money into the Philippines as well as have money be taken out.

Mother Nature is very strong in this country. I want to help figure out how to help in times of crisis.

I want to start a recycling company here as well. It would help with the trash. (PI)

When do I plan to have this done?

  In truth I don't know. This will take a long time whether it is in the Philippines or not. I need to seek organizations that already exist that deal with recycling and multicultural awareness.

  When I finish college here in the Philippines I will begin my quest in the US

  The project that I am setting in the Philippines will take a lot of time. They do things very old fashion here so I can only work in the old fashion manner. Not everyone likes change. But those who are willing to change are who I will work with.

  Where am I going to start?

  In San Angelo, Texas. My hometown. Between the time that I'm in college and the time that I go home (June and July) I will work with my city. My family is involved in an organization so I have the resources to reach out.

  Once I graduate I will begin in Georgia. I want to be with my friends for a month. I want to reach out to that state since they are there. Eventually, I want to visit all my friends across the states. I have a goal to visit all 50.

  If things go right I'll also have a way to begin in Virginia. (US)

My plan will have to start in Vigan City. There is more money there. Then, I will reach out to Paltoc and slowly work between the two points until they meet. I'll hire my family and have them work for me.

  I will work with the people who were willing to work with me here. My classmates, my college peers, the teachers- anyone who was willing to look at me and not think negative of me. I want to help them.

Why?

  People should not be forced to not have an education. It should be a choice. If someone simply does not want to have an education that is fine. That is their choice. But a person should be given the oppertunity to be educated. Not everyone understands what opportunities they have in life.

  As long as a person is willing to learn then they should have that opportunity. Educating the next generation will leave a legacy that may bring more dangerous problems but it will solve others as well. (US)

  The Philippines is a home that I never had. Now that I'm an adult I want to make it a better place. And not a place that gives out younger woman because they need a citizenship. There has to be another way. I want to bring people over through different means.

  There's a lot of potential in the Philippines. All around the world Filipinos make their mark. It's my turn. (PI)

How

  I will have to begin at my schools. Lake View High School and Lincoln Middle School. Later I can reach out to Howard Community College and Angelo State University. I need to get to know my elementary. It seems like a new place to me but it was still my elementary and I need to give back to it.

  The Asian American Association of Women is growing. I want to assist in its growth. I am supposed to be a member.

  I'll look up any organization that is based in San Angelo and reach out to them first. (US)

  Vigan City is where I will be for most of my school time here. I will begin in Vigan. I'll invest into the college and make it a better place. Hopefully. But I will also do small improvements of my own. Personal goals like helping the family out. There needs to be money that comes into the Philippines but they also need someone who will come back and not for vacation purposes. None of the money that comes into the Philippines that I see is being used to bring in revenue and I want to make a difference in that.

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  If anyone every needs someone to talk to, please reach out to me. You can reach me on my Facebook, Instagram, If you know me in person in the Philippines please ask me for my number, I have an email, you can also reach out to me through this blog. You can also reach out to my Wattpad

  However you may reach me. Please try, I am always willing to listen. Till next time, DJ/Cho/Shinar

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Week Eighteen

General Dedications: All the August Birthdays!!! Oh my gosh. So many. Lol I won't put you all in this post specifically but Ill try to have a dedication to as many of you as possible. That being said, let me start with family dedications!!!

July 23rd-August 22

Leos!
3rd: Cousin Joshua
6th: Aunt Sharon
9th: Uncle Rodel
20th Niece Jen

Virgo!
23 - Eldest Sister Girlyne

Joshua: Though we may not be 100% compatible or be able to understand each other in more than one sense, I still appreciate everything you've done for me. There's a lot on your plate culture wise. Thanks for everything and Happy 22nd! (P.S: Your nickname is President Pastor. Sorry not sorry lol)

Uncle Rodel: I always looked forward to you visiting the house and I'm sorry that work and school have come in between the time I'm able to spend with you but I'm very thankful for you Uncle. You're a good man and fun to talk to. Athough, I know the language barrier can be an issue. Soon I will be able to communicate with you better!!! I look forward to seeing you next time. You always brought delicious food to the house. I hope that never changes! Happy Birthday, Uncle!

Aunt Sharon: You have always inspired me in your own way. You're a hard worker and dedicated to the people you love. I'm glad that I'm on that list. Life hasn't given me the chance to see you in a while but I'm glad you have a facebook now so that you can keep up with me and I can keep up with you. Love you and Happy Birthday, Aunt Sharon!

Sister!!!: You basically raised me. Although, I might have more of Jason's qualities and interest lol. Without you, I wouldn't have made it this far between the culture barriers and language barriers and well... general barriers of life. I'm super thankful to have you as a sister. Thank you for everything. Miss you a lot. Im sorry i wont be there for your birthday this year. Or maybe even next year 😅 But. Always know that I love you and I couldnt have become the person I am without you!!! Happy birthday, see you when I see you.

Jen: I already dedicated a thing to you but hey. You won't be the only one I've mentioned twice! I don't remember what the last time we celebrated your birthday.  I do know that I miss you though!! Happy 24th I think lol. Love you and see you maybe next year xD.

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Song of Fire and Ice: A Clash of Kings: It take all my strength to limit myself on how much I read in this book. I'm limiting myself as to how many pages I can read because otherwise I'll need to get the 3rd book soon and I don't have enough money for that right now lol. I have the 4th book though. Because I'm awesome and grabbed the wrong book lol. I really wanted to read Lord of the Rings while I was out here studying but I stumbled upon Game of Thrones first and I'm not disappoint. In high school I read part of the first book lol. But I still have books back home that I havent read yet. Here, I don't buy the book unless I've read what I have and I make sure these books are thick so that I don't read through them quickly lol.

First Day of School: Culture here still gets to me. I made a few friends today!!! So I'm in Batch A-1 which means the other 30 something students are in every class with me. Back home, each class may have a student who is in a different major as you but here, everyone takes the same classes per batch and has the exact same schedule. I think it's really nice. It gives me time to get to know these other students.

  The first 2 classes were canceled. Go figure. First they push back school for 2 days then hey cancel the first two classes 😅. Unlike back home, the Dean will post on facebook any last minute announcements. Whereas, an email would be sent out to all the students if something were to happen last minute.

  The youngest student in my batch is 17 while most of them are 18 and few are 19. Im the only that exceeds that lol. I explained how the we have Basics is America that come before the actual course which is another way for America to take your money. Here in the Philippines you start right away in whatever course you want to persue.

  Some of the students wanted to call me Ate out of respect but I'm their classmate and I find it weird since I'm the only 'Ate'. Ate is a respectful term for 'older female' in Tagalog. It's like saying 'sister' in a way.

  I went through 2 classes. We skipped Understanding Self and Technology for Teaching and Learning. So our first classes was at Child and Adolrscent Learners from 2:30 to 3:30. My teacher was Mrs. Alma and she made it a point to make me the center of attention. Which. Helped me with my nerves but also set them off lol. Mrs. Alma is more of an interactive teacher rather than a by the book teacher and I like that. Although, I do feel odd when we start singing and dancing to children songs that everyone grew up with except me lol. The again, I could always teach them the songs I grew up with. I guess that'll be on my to do list. I enjoyed that class despite the culture barrier I mentioned.

  The second class we went to was Math. There's a long name but I'll simplify it lol. The teacher asked us to write about ourselves and said we would share it when she returned from an errand. Once she came back she asked if anyone wanted to introduce themselves and since she was the only one who didnt know I only spoke English I decided to go first and I ended up being the only one to introduce myself because she decided to hold a philosophy session.

  While Mrs. Alma is more of an empath and direct with her emotions the teacher in math is straight forward. Mrs. Alma is very expressive and I like that about her. I feel bad for not catching the math teacher's name but she is very inspiring. For a moment I thought we were in philosophy instead of Math.

 I'm looking forward to learning with these students and sharing my experiances with them. Some of them have already seen and read part of my blog so that makes me really happy.

  At school I go by DJ because it's not easy to butcher. Cho sounds weird with their accent and Shinar is never said the same way twice. Agh. These dorm kids are singing and I want tslo sing with hem but there are so many I'm nervous to go down there by myself.

  Well i gathered up the courage to go down there. I guess i'll get used to the Ate DJ thing. It's more effort to stop than I feel like putting into stopping. One of the kids were in my class. He was nice. Everyoe was nervous and they liked my voice though I admitted that in the US I was too nervous to sing in front of people. They despersed after i went to go get my charger so I'm guessing I intimidated them. 😅 I really do like to sing and I'm willing to teach them English. But they have to help me eith Ilokano. However, there are many other languages that the students know so this might be mote challenging than I thought. I'm looking forward to this semester. I hope I can become less intimidating over time.

  Me and Dimer have to wait to get a key made for our apartment. I forgot to get a spare lol. These little things that matter. My guts still twisted from signing in front of them. I sang Your Guardian Angel - Red jumpsuit Apparatuse and rhey loved.

  Since I left a picture of me and Alan as my profile picture literally everyone is hitting on him lol. I dont know how he feels about 17, 18, and 19 year olds gawking over him but that's what's happening. Lol

  Overall, today went well. School was pushed back to noon tomorrow because of a holiday. It's like the school was even reluctant to start lol.

  Let's see. What else? I dont think there's anything. Im attempting to make friends. The language barrier is the hardest part but I will break it. I'll be sure to drop updates thank y'all for tuning in.
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Carabao Languages: Each day I will have a post that will be in one of the 4 languages I'm trying to learn or in English..tune in to learn something new each day!

Thanks for supporting me everyone. Love and miss all of you back home. -DJ/Nar/Cho

P.S: DJ stands for Danieljames Joaquin. 😎

Nuang Languages: Day Twelve

Day 12: Tagalog

2 - Dalawa (Dah-lah-wah)

Kalabaw Languages

Day 7: Different Sounds That Lettets Make In English (Based Off Of A Texan's Perspective).

Accents: Place a HUGE barrier among people who speak English. Even if a person pronounces a word differently, that does not mean they're wrong! However, these accents do not prevent the wide variety of english speakers from communicating unlike in the Philippines where the 'Language' is Tagalog (Filipino) and other 100+ languages are considered 'Dialects' 

Here's the letter "A" for example.

Apple - "Ah"
Angel - "Ay"
Another - "Uh"
Aeroplane - "Eh"

  Each day I will post a word in either Tagalog/Ilokano/Itneg/Spanish/or English. Tune in daily to learn something new!

*Some of you may or may not have noticed but the title of these post have a varied. The tag I will be placing on this series of post will be 'Carabao Languages'.

Nuang - Ilocano/Ilokano/Itneg
Kalabaw - Tagalog
Carabao - Spanish/English

(Fun fact: Carabao is a Spanish word!)

I chose 'Carabao Languages' as the title becaue in the Philippines people say "Carabao English" to describe that they speak Broken English. So, by translating Carabao into Ilokano/Itneg/Tagalog/Spanish/and English it makes these lessons less intimidating.

Carabao Language

Day 5: Español Vocales (Spanish Vowels)

A E I O U

Prounce:

Apple - Soft a

Bet - "Eh"

Eat - "EE"

Hope - "Oh"

Look - "oo"

  In Spanish there are more accents while in the Philippines the word is spelled slightly different to match the sound.

Trabajo - Spanish
Tabaho - Tagalog
Work - English

*Note that the Spanish I am show you is based off of what I have learned in Texas. So, some of these words are Tex-Mex and based out of Mexico. If you want to share the differences from what I am posting vs what you know, please shoot me a message! Go to my question box and fill out the form. I'd love to hear feedback! You can even comment on my post and I will see it. 

Carabao Español: The Alphabet of the Philippines

  The languages of the Philippines originate from Spanish. So, the letters always make the same sound regardless of position in the world. The vowels are:

A E I O U

(ah) (eh) (ee) (oh) (oo)

Apple
Soft A

Bet
"eh"

Eat
"ee"

Oh
(The expression)

Book

(oo)

Nuang Ilokano/Ilocano/Itneg ABC's

Carabao English/ Nuang Ilokano|Itneg/ Kalabaw Tagalog

Day Two: ABC's

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

There are 26 letters in the English Alphabet.

I won't be placing the sounds on this post because I will explain them later. English letters make different sounds depending on what letters are around them.

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